Sexless Marriages: All Too Common

Sadly, I hear stories about sexless marriages regularly and wanted to share a few thoughts with you on the topic.

Sexless marriage is more common than you think. Studies have shown more than 5 percent of married couples have gone at least a year without sex. One in five married people surveyed have remained celibate a month or more.

The first thing I always tell these women: You are not alone.

And wanting to spark that flame is the first step toward reviving their love life.

Our sexual health experts say couples who are open with each other are less likely to remain celibate. We know that our libido shifts throughout life because of biology and also outside stresses, so it’s important to work together to identify barriers to physical and emotional intimacy.

Share your desires and be willing to try new things offered by your partner. Remember that “normal” for you, in your marriage, can be whatever the two of you agree on.

Intimacy won’t be recovered overnight, so make a plan — together! — that gives you time to rebuild that relationship. Schedule dates. Make time to talk and touch one another. Be sensual with each other. No toy alone will fix a sexless marriage, but bedroom aides, whether a simple massage oil or a couple’s game or a new sex toy, are tools for pleasure and relationship-building.

Sex is just one kind of intimacy, but it’s a vital part of a long-term relationship. It’s a unique connection that makes a person feel desired and wanted, and everyone deserves that.