Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

When Your Spouse is Married to the Military

Today we continue to mark Veterans Day in America, a day when we thank the veterans (and their families) who give so much for our country. We have a number of military spouses who are Pure Romance Consultants, and we know first hand what it means for them to hold down a job while raising a family and keeping their often-long distance relationship going.

The website taskandpurpose.com, a military news and lifestyle site, recently posted an article on how couples who may be separated by military assignments can keep their relationships going, even during long deployments. The article quotes Rhonda Milrad, the founder of Relationup, an app that provides relationship advice. (yes, there’s an app for that!)

Milrad says it’s best to set expectations even before the deployment starts. First, she says, talking with your partner about how often you’ll be able to contact each other is key. If it is a frontline deployment, the opportunities for contact may be few. For others, they can keep a more regular flow of communication. She says first find a schedule, then find a way to communicate—whether it’s phone, by Skype or by text. Every couple has a different style through which they like to chat.

Second, decide what you will talk about. No one wants to wait anxiously for a phone call, just to hear the other person gripe about their day, their boss, their schedule. Yes, there will be times that one or the other of you wants to vent. But don’t make the few minutes you have to talk become a gripe session. Also, she says, watch what you share with your partner. “If you’re not the type of person who wants a photo of your loved one kicking back on the beach because it makes you miss home, and you’d rather discuss the work that you’re doing or what’s been going on around the house, then do that,” she says.

Finally, those who are left home should create a support network. “At the beginning, there’s usually a surge of support and then over time, it deflates and diminishes,” says Milrad, who adds that you can encourage your family to play more pro-active roles in supporting the person who’s staying at home.

Those in the military, and their families, sacrifice so much to keep our country free. On this Veterans Day weekend we continue to salute them, and thank all of them for their service to our country.

Want to read more from the article? Here’s the link: https://taskandpurpose.com/3-things-know-long-distance-relationships-military/

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up!

We’ve heard a lot recently about making your voice heard by voting in this week’s elections. I hope you do! But now let’s talk literally about speaking up to your peers, your community, and in front of your business colleagues.

A recent article on NPR’s Facebook page caught my attention with the headline “All-Male Panels Are Still the Norm.” Men, the article says, outnumbered women 2 to 1 as event speakers over the last five years. Women were more likely to speak at fundraisers or social gatherings but were rarely invited to speak at conventions or conferences.

A survey by the event software company Bizzabo found that of the 60,000 speakers the company analyzed in 23 countries, 69 percent were men. And despite the talk about gender equity and harassment in the workplace, the number of women speakers has increased by only two percent in the last two years.

The survey found that the U.S. ranked third in gender diversity out of the 23 countries.

As independent businesswomen, our Consultants are more than qualified to be speakers in their own business communities. And I encourage all of you to take advantage of opportunities in your area to be on panels, to present to business organizations, and to tell your story. Not only do you get to represent Pure Romance as a great opportunity for women in business, you position yourself as a successful small business owner. And let’s see if we can increase that percentage of women speakers more than two percent over the next two years!

Want to read more? Check it out here.

Masks Aren’t Just for Halloween

With Halloween coming up and lots of Halloween parties scheduled (the National Retail Federation says we’ll spend $9 billion on Halloween this year!!) you might be thinking about what costume you’ll wear for the festivities. But while you’re thinking about what you’ll wear in public, how about considering a change of wardrobe in the bedroom, as well?

Journalist Michael Castleman, writing for AARP Magazine, says blindfolds, especially for women, can enhance the sexual experience, because most women are turned on by what they feel, like hot baths, silk, massage. “When women wear blindfolds, he writes, they can usually focus more deeply on how exciting the loving touch of a partner feels. This likewise means they can enjoy it more.

“Another reason a blindfold can enhance sex,” he writes, “is that it’s new and adventurous. This novelty raises your levels of the brain chemical dopamine, which governs libido. Boost dopamine and sex feels more exciting.”

Blindfolded sex amplifies not just touch, Castleman writes, but the other senses as well: hearing, smell and taste. Many lovers say they can delve deeper into music when blindfolded, or experience more enjoyment from fragrances and flavors.

Now, of course, a blindfold or mask might not be for everyone. “If the woman in your life is similarly disinclined, respect that; no one should feel pressured into sex that makes them feel uncomfortable.”

Our own Onyx blindfoldis just right for couples who want to try something a little more adventurous in the bedroom. And if anyone sees it on the nightstand next to the bed, you can always say it’s there for your afternoon naps!

Michael Castleman is the publisher of the website greatsexguidance.com. You can read more of his article on the benefits of blindfolds here.

 

Join Us for a Great Cause!

This is perhaps the most exciting week of the year for the Patty Brisben Foundation, and maybe the most hectic, as we put the final touches on what we think will be a fantastic evening for the 13th annual Patty Brisben Foundation Gala coming up Saturday evening at Greenacres Arts Center.

As you know, this is the major fundraiser of the year for the Foundation, which supports women’s sexual health and well-being through research and education. Last year we raised more than $240,000 for research and advancements in women’s sexual health, and we want this year to be just as big!

This year’s theme, “New York State of Mind,” should be lots of fun for our guests, but we want to remind everyone that there is a serious mission behind our event: To raise awareness and funding for important matters involving women’s sexual health.

Our hashtag, #sexualhealthmatters, has brought that mission home with our speaker series held in Cincinnati when we bring in sexual health experts and medical professionals to discuss resources for issues impacting women’s sexual health. The series has been a big success so far, and we look forward to continuing the conversation.

If you have your tickets to Saturday’s Gala, we’ll see you there! If not, we have a few tickets available—just visit the Patty Brisben Foundation Facebook page to learn more. And to find out what we do to help women around the world, click on pattybrisbenfoundation.org. And we’ll see you at the party!

It’s Time to Speak Up!

When it comes to women’s health, there’s never a good time to be quiet. But sometimes, we’re a little hesitant to talk with our doctors about our concerns. If you’ve faced that, you’re not alone.

In an article this spring in the New York Times, author Camille Noe Pagán found that it’s an issue not uncommon in examination rooms. “It’s a huge issue in medicine,” says Dr. Tia Powell, a bioethicist and a professor of clinical epidemiology and population health at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. She explains in the article that she speaks of experience.

“A while back, I lost 10 pounds over a couple months, so I went to my doctor and told him I thought it was a sign I was having a recurrence of an old illness,” she said. He gave me a few reasons he disagreed and added, “Plus you’ve been on a diet.”

Since Dr. Powell had never mentioned she’d been on a diet, she sought a second opinion that confirmed her diagnosis of the recurrence, for which she was treated.

Pagán cites some eye-opening information in her article, including research that shows both doctors and nurses prescribe less pain medication to women after surgery than men, even though women report more frequent and more severe pain levels. A survey of more than 2,400 women with chronic pain also showed that more than 80% felt they had experienced gender discrimination from health care providers.

So what do you do if you feel your doctor isn’t hearing you? Dr. Powell suggests asking for definitive reasons for the physicians’ actions.  “A good physician can have biases,” says Dr. Powell. “But a good physician should also be able to take a step back and say, ‘I hear you. Let’s talk this through.’”

We as women like to power through pain, deferring to the health needs of our families before our own. But every once in a while, it’s vital to take charge of our own health when we’re talking with our doctors. Better to speak up now, than to wait too late.

Want to read more from the NYT article? Here’s the link: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/03/well/live/when-doctors-downplay-womens-health-concerns.html