Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Don’t Let Sex Embarrass You

Three Things About Sex that Shouldn’t Embarrass You

Who among us doesn’t have an embarrassing sex story? Maybe it’s that first time when you were a little clueless, or a daring new position that didn’t quite work out as pictured. We all have them and the luckiest of us also have partners who can laugh over them with us. Sex is, just like us, perfect in its imperfection.

Here are three things you never need to be embarrassed about when it comes to sex.

Your body.

Your partner thinks you’re gorgeous. Promise. Your shape, your scent, your sounds — your partner wants you, regardless of whether you remembered to shave your legs. Be comfortable in your own skin. Nothing is sexier than confidence.

 Your orgasm.

Every body is different, and honestly, every time you have sex might be a little different. Don’t worry about how long it’s taking you to reach orgasm. Women take longer than men, period. In fact, don’t worry if an orgasm just isn’t happening this time. Focus on touches and feelings. Let yourself get lost in the intimacy of the moment.

 Asking or refusing.

Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for what you want or tell him what you like. And if you don’t like something or don’t want to do something, don’t be afraid to tell him that, too. Your partner can’t read your mind, so you have to let him in on what turns you on and off.

Be open and honest with your partner. Tell your significant other what you like about them; ask them what they like about you — and believe what they tell you! You’ll find that embarrassment is impossible, because you’re too busy enjoying each other and laughing together.

Lubricants Are For Everyone and They Will Up the Pleasure!

Most of the time, I hear from women frustrated because their bodies aren’t producing enough lubrication to make sex pleasurable. But sometimes, I hear from women with the opposite problem. While your initial reaction might be that it’s great to be this turned on by your partner, being too wet can lead to feeling self-conscious and make sex less fun and enjoyable.

 Here are three things to consider.Unknow

Every woman is different, so there’s no “normal” amount of wetness during sex. When you’re aroused, your body produces fluid to prepare for sex. It’s typically clear and slippery, even a little sticky, and different from fluid that occurs during your monthly cycle. More wetness also might just mean you’re very turned on by your partner.

Hormonal changes, over your lifetime and over your cycle, can affect your body’s natural lubrication. Women often experience more wetness during sex when they ovulate, for instance, and many women need a little lubricating help after menopause.

Too much wetness can decrease friction during sex and reduce pleasure for you and your partner, but there are simple fixes you can try:  

  • Apply a specialty cream, such as Like A Virgin. Tightening creams can work to tighten and contract vaginal walls and improve sensation for both of you.
  • Use a textured, non-lubricated condom to increase friction for you and him.
  • Experiment with new positions. Many women with extreme wetness find that having sex with their legs pushed together gives just the right amount of friction.

And, for what it’s worth, wetness is an aphrodisiac for many men — and women. It’s a sign they’re doing something right for you, making you feel amazing. Try not to fret, have fun with your partner, and enjoy.

Good News for Ovarian Cancer Survivors to Increase their Sexual Function

A Study from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute funded by the Patty Brisben Foundation

I am proud of the sexual health research we fund through the Patty Brisben Foundation. As many of you know, we are focused on improving women’s sexual health and well-being through research and education. The foundation awards grants each year in four key areas — libido and desire, vulvovaginal pain disorders, the impact of perimenopause and menopause on sexual health, and intimacy-related sexual dysfunction after cancer treatment.

We are truly one of the only funding sources for organizations like the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute to help with their on-going important research. (Many of you are already donors of PBF, so I thank you for your time and money to continue our mission).

Here is an update from Dr. Sharon Bober from Dana-Farber that I am happy to share with you.

Targeted group intervention can help women who have undergone ovarian cancer treatment improve their sexual health and sense of self, according to a new study from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

At Dana-Farber, Dr. Bober and her research team tested the effectiveness of a targeted education intervention for women who had been treated for ovarian cancer between two and 20 years ago. The women, who were 50 years old on average, were healthy in that they had survived cancer. However, many reported profound sexual dysfunction, including pain during intercourse, loss of desire and vaginal dryness.

For a variety of reasons — the idea that women after menopause or illness don’t care about sex, the patient being so happy to have survived cancer that sexual dysfunction seems trivial, the doctor being focused on other care — sexual health can get overlooked during and after cancer treatment.

 The Dana-Farber study raises awareness of sexual dysfunction as a medical concern and, in the end, showed that a simple intervention could help.

“This is not something that even gets addressed,” Bober said. “But it is relevant. Women do care. … Women want help and women can be helped.”

For the study, women went through a half-day group session that provided them with education about their bodies and minds. They were asked to create an action plan for their sexual health and received take-home materials and one follow-up call as part of the intervention.

Six months later, women are reporting positive outcomes, Bober said. They are reporting improved sexual function as well as positive changes in their psychological outlook.

The study serves as pilot data for additional research into interventions for women treated for other gynecological cancers, Bober said. It also could have implications for general care for women, both after cancer treatment and after midlife and menopause.

Sex Tips for Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day is here, and for many couples the lovers’ holiday might come with pressure to have great sex.

But great sex doesn’t just happen. It takes effort. It takes intimacy, and that means taking the time to really know each other. It means being honest and open about your desires.

This Valentine’s Day, use the holiday as a conversation starter to get your partner talking about what you like, what you want and what you need in the bedroom. Sex lives are a journey, not a destination, and over the course of your life and your relationship, it’s natural for desires and needs to change. (It’s amazing what a little lubricant can do too!)

sex-tips-for-valentinesMake the holiday a time to check in with each other and share how you’re feeling physically and emotionally. Tell your partner why you think he’s sexy, or ask what she loves about your body. Try something new or consider why something is a favorite. If you need a little help getting the conversation going, pick up a pack of the Pure Romance Date Night Cards.

It’s funny, even with our partners, the people who know us most intimately, talking about sex can be difficult. But when we are strong enough to be vulnerable and generous enough to allow our partners to be vulnerable too, we’re rewarded.

Also, it’s Valentine’s Day 365 days a year at Pure Romance. We are in the business of keeping the spark alive with couples all year long. Please remember this is not a one time a year gig—this is an all-time a year gig. You need to be working on your relationship with your significant other and your relationship with yourself all year long. Valentine’s Day is not just about couples, and I’ve always said this…it is a time to celebrate everyone that is important in your life!

Five Facts You Should Consider Before Having a Breast Augmentation

Giving women the space and skills to be confident and proactive — in the bedroom, yes, but also just in life — that’s why I founded Pure Romance. And to be truly confident, we need to be happy with the woman who looks out from our mirror.Breast augmentation post

Studies have shown that breast implants, provided with proper screening and consultation with a doctor, can boost self-esteem and promote a positive body image. This isn’t about making you look like someone else, but using modern medical technology to give your body a boost.

If you’re thinking of giving your breasts a lift, here are five things to remember:

● You can get silicone or saline implants. Silicone, once banned, was approved by the FDA in 2006. These feel more natural, but require regular MRIs to check for leaks. Saline, if inserted under your muscle, will feel more natural, though the recovery time is slightly longer.

● Breast implants will cost about $5,000.

● You’ll likely be cleared to go back to work after seven to 10 days, but expect to be sore and to limit heavy lifting for six weeks or so.

● Some women experience numbness in their breasts after surgery. They still react to stimulation, however, they don’t have complete feeling.

● Expect to go up just a couple cup sizes. Going from an A cup to a DDD might be more than your body can handle in one go.

Spend time and choose a doctor you trust. Breast implants usually aren’t just one surgery. You might need additional surgeries for scarring, or find your implants are affected by weight gain or loss. Find a doctor who will help you look and feel your best. My biggest piece of advice when choosing a surgeon is do your homework. I recently had knee surgery and spent a great deal of time asking about people who have been through it, and researching the care after surgery. I have found people who have been through a surgery are almost always willing to give advice and open up and talk to you about it.