Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Get Focused!

Consultants, there’s no better time than NOW to take the excitement, knowledge (and new connections!) you’ve gained at last week’s National Training and turn it into more success. I’ve always said work smarter, not harder, and National Training is there to help you get focused on what is going to take your business to the next level. Don’t waste a single second – start applying everything you’ve learned while it’s fresh in your mind, and remember to continue to challenge yourself now and throughout the year!

Blush

It’s an exciting new chapter for Pure Romance, as we launch our new line called Blush. Every year I take stock of our products, and work with our talented team to ensure that we continue to grow and always offer the absolute best. Over the last couple years, I found myself walking into our Product Room and scanning our liquid line (with award winning cohesive packaging) over to some of our bedroom toys and feeling that some just didn’t share that same consistency.

There were some toys that I found myself scratching my head thinking things like, where do the batteries go? If I (someone who works with these products every day) couldn’t easily figure it out, then I couldn’t imagine how confused some of our Consultants and consumers could be.  I wanted to streamline those items, spell out the instructions and take the guesswork out of it. I also never want anyone to feel like they couldn’t recognize if something was from Pure Romance, and creating consistency in the future is a big part of that. That’s when I decided to take our Consultants and customers on a new journey and Blush is the first step on this exciting ride.

I love the word blush. Many think blushing is a sign of weakness, but to me, it’s about evoking a feeling within and telling the world we feel something! The heat rises from our body to our flushed cheeks, and we are overcome with the tingle and excitement. A blush means our hearts are still beating and that we are alive. And most of all, a blush is flirtatious – and what would Pure Romance be without a little flirting?

Another reason I love the Blush line is because it includes all of our staple products. They are the best sellers that many gravitate toward when they are attending a party for their first time.  When people see this line, they will know it’s Blush and they will know it’s Pure Romance.  It will go without saying, and that fires me up like no other!

Do not think this journey stops here! Some people look at change as a negative, but it’s a natural part of life to evolve and grow.  This is about being challenged, growing, staying a student. I truly believe that we will live fuller, more prosperous lives if we embrace change and realize that nothing is ever meant to stay the same; if it does, we (and our products), will never be better. And believe me, we will never let that happen!

2015 National Training

April 17th – 19th is Pure Romance’s National Training – one of my absolute favorite events of the year. I’ve always loved this conference, even when I was a Consultant over two decades ago. Why? Because I understood that there is ALWAYS room to improve and learn, and before your team can be motivated, you have to be truly motivated. There are so many reasons that National Training continues to inspire me year after year; below are a few of my personal favorites.

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  1. For those Consultants who will be attending for the first time this year, make sure you come prepared. When I attended my first conference, I went with a checklist of things I needed to improve upon. For example, there were products that I just didn’t seem to sell well. I listed the ones I sold through the roof, and those that I just couldn’t move for the life of me. This helped me to really evaluate my inventory and technique, and plan ahead when it came to which speakers I wanted to see or approach. I still continue to think like this even when I attend conferences with the corporate office, such as the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH).
  2. I would always keep a pen and paper handy – I didn’t rely on my memory to hold so much information. I came home with note-after-note-after-note! The first two months I was a Consultant, my sales were so great that I was awarded my first incentive reward: a lighter (I didn’t even smoke!). But I didn’t care, because it felt good to be acknowledged, propelled me to move my business forward and made me reach for even bigger goals in the future. My first conference was in 1984 and guess what? By 1985, I more than doubled my sales! I applied everything I learned during that conference and I was able to reach the goal of being one of the top five in sales within a year; that’s the beauty of holding on to and absorbing all the information.
  3. For me, it helped to see what I could really do with this business. I met people who helped me not only prepare to build a team, but also challenged my sales techniques and help me understand my products better. It was motivating for me to meet the people who had succeeded, including some of the top Consultants in the company. To this day, hearing their success stories is still the best part of it for me. It was a sister Consultant who taught me to not work harder but smarter!
  4. National Training raises awareness. It gave me new information to present at my parties. Today, we are proud to have a lineup of the world’s best speakers who help our Consultants reach all of their dreams, whether it’s bettering themselves as businesspeople, or helping you to funnel more knowledge to people at your party. Everyone can take away something different – some will learn more about their body, others, how to communicate more effectively- it’s so important for everyone to have an “A-Ha” moment.
  5. And I can’t forget to mention how FUN National Training is – between our cocktail parties, the lively atmosphere and the opportunity to celebrate and build camaraderie with other consultants and network – it’s truly irreplaceable.  I’m still very good friends with two Consultants I met when I first started out; one was from Oregon and the other Wyoming, and we looked forward to that time as often the only time we could get away and have “girl time” with one another. 

I’m looking forward to seeing all of you, hearing your stories and sharing in your newfound excitement about owning and operating your very own Pure Romance business!

 

Cherishing the Moment

For those of you preparing to celebrate Easter tomorrow, remember to especially cherish time with family. Watch below to learn about some of my very own family Easter traditions. There’s no time better than now to spend quality time with the ones you love. Happy Easter from our Pure Romance family to yours!

Let’s Talk About Sex: Part 2

Guest blog By Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH

KMark HeadshotIn my work as a sex and relationships researcher, I continue to learn more and more about the dynamics of relationships and the ways in which sex influences, and is influenced by, those dynamics. One of the most salient messages I hear is that many people are not comfortable talking to their partners (or really anyone outside of their closest and most trusted friends) about sex. It is interesting to me that, despite being so intimate with a partner, it can be so hard to communicate about the very thing that brings such intimacy.

Relationship therapists and researchers have spent years trying to figure out tangible ways to offer to couples to improve communication. And some couples, especially those with different individual communication styles, have a hard time communicating about even the most mundane things. So it shouldn’t be surprising that when someone has trouble communicating with their partner about what they want from the grocery store, they may have trouble communicating with their partner about what they want from their sex life.

So this is established; sex is difficult to talk about. But there are ways around this. There are ways to practice talking about sex with your partner so it isn’t so difficult.

One thing I like to suggest is to use technology to your advantage. If you want to talk about something related to your sex life, maybe a need that you’d like to have met by your partner, text it to them during the work day. Not only does this allow for some space if you’re feeling shy, but it also has the potential to build heat through the day. It also provides a cushion for both you and your partner that doesn’t require you to reply on the spot. You can take time to craft what you’d like to say and let it sit before hitting send.

Another great suggestion is to blame your sub-conscious mind. When you wake up in the morning, say you had a dream about whatever it is you’re having trouble talking to your partner about. I suppose I’m telling you to lie here, but I think this little white lie is for the greater good of the relationship. And this allows you to gauge your partner’s reaction to your dream to see if it is something you can suggest you try in real life!

This is all great for talking to your partner about getting needs met in your sex life. But what about talking about sex with your partner when it involves something that society has laced with a thick layer of stigma? Something like sexually transmitted infections (STIs)? Not exactly the sexiest topic. However, sex is a lot more fun when you aren’t worried about your health. So this is a really key conversation to have with a partner. The best time to bring this up is at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, you could even make this one of your first dates! Nothing says romance like a joint visit to the STI clinic. It does build up the excitement of getting intimate with one another. You could use the technology tactic or the dream tactic to elicit conversation and communication here as well.

If either of you end up with a test that comes back positive for an STI, it is important to let your partner know ASAP. This conversation is likely to be uncomfortable (if grocery lists are an 8 on comfort level, this one might be a -8), but just get it over with. It is like pulling off a Band-Aid; the quicker you do it, the better. Being open and honest with your partner about this is critical to the relationship. Lying about something such as an STI status to someone you’re intimate with is a huge, sometimes unforgivable, violation of trust. If your partner is someone worth being with for the long haul, they will stick around through this small road bump.

Communicating with your partner about anything from getting needs met in the bedroom to getting tested for STIs can be tough to overcome. Effective communication takes practice and is a necessary component to any healthy relationship.

About Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH: Dr. Mark is an Assistant Professor of Health Promotion and Director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at University of Kentucky. She is Affiliate Faculty at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. Her primary research area is women’s sexual health and well-being, sexual desire, desire discrepancy, sexual satisfaction, sex-positive sex education, and dyadic approaches to sexuality research and education. She earned her PhD in Health Behavior with a minor in Human Sexuality and her MPH in Biostatistics, both from Indiana University. Dr. Mark has published her scientific work in a number of journals, including but not limited to, Archives of Sexual BehaviorJournal of Sex Research, and Journal of Sexual Medicine and she has presented her work at over 50 international and national scientific conferences. Dr. Mark is dedicated to distributing accurate evidence-based information about sexuality and relationships to the general public and has been sought out as a sex and relationships expert and quoted in various media outlets such as CNNCosmopolitianWomen’s HealthMen’s Health, and O Magazine. She regularly writes evidence-based pieces about sex and relationships for Huffington PostPsychology Today, and Kinsey Confidential. You can find out more about what Dr. Mark is working on including study abroad opportunities and opportunities to participate in her research studies at her website, www.kristenmark.com.

Notes from Patty’s Desk:

How can you achieve real intimacy when you aren’t comfortable asking tough questions? What might feel like a few minutes of awkwardness could save you from serious consequences, or paying for a mistake that could last the rest of your life! Making sure that you’re both on the same page – that’s communication. Whether it’s the first date or the fifth, before you get under the covers, don’t be scared to be up front with your new partner. Want to know the best part? The quicker you can delve into more difficult conversations with one another, the faster you will find out if your relationship is built to last!  

For those of you who might feel awkward about having this conversation, even with your physician, it’s never as bas as you think. Here, I want to share Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones’s awkward conversation with her own physician to make you smile. Watch here!