Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Is the Lack of Sex to Blame for Midlife Divorces?

If you’re like me, you have plenty of friends who have been married 20 or more years who all of a sudden announce they’re getting a divorce. If you think it’s happening more and more, you’re not imagining things.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics, among U.S. adults ages 50 and older, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s.

In 2015, for every 1,000 married persons ages 50 and older, 10 divorced – up from five in 1990, according to the data. Among those ages 65 and older, the divorce rate has roughly tripled since 1990, reaching six people per 1,000 married persons in 2015.

So, what’s the reason? Shannon Perry, writing in Prime Women, says there’s one subject that comes up time and time again among respondents: Sex. Specifically, different expectations of how much and how often, different levels of desire, physical pain when having sex and similar issues that crop up among older adults can make being intimate more difficult.

Perry talked with sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman on how older couples can stay together while confronting different views about sex. Zimmerman says it’s not unusual for couples to split over issues of sex. “Sex is a common area of conflict and concern,” she says, “and it’s frequently cited as the main reason they are seeking therapy and a big part of why they may divorce.”

How can couples salvage their relationships? Zimmerman says the most important thing is to not give up. “Marriage is like a garden; it needs tending,” she says. “Continue to spend quality time together. Make sex and intimacy a priority.”

Another suggestion she has is to make sure couples celebrate what they have. “Recognize that you have something special,” she says. “Enjoy every moment. Don’t take it for granted because life brings changes, one way or another. Be grateful for what you have and express that to each other.”

Relationships are based on communication, and communicating your sexual needs is one way to open up the conversation. And if you’re looking for a little spark to your love like, don’t forget that Pure Romance is here to help!

Want to read more from the article? Check it out here!

Want to Add Years to Your Life? Add Sex to Your Life!

We all know the usual advice for a healthier, longer life: Watch what you eat, get enough sleep, exercise more, get regular checkups. All of that is well and good, but here’s one prescription we can all follow—have more sex!

According to an article in Psychology Today, English researchers surveyed nearly 1,000 men on their sexual activity, then surveyed them again a decade later. Compared with men who had had sex just once a month, those who had sex twice a week had half the death rate.

Other studies support the idea that more sex leads to longer life, including two studies involving men AND women in Sweden which showed the connection between living longer and having sex. So why does having sex help you live longer? The article outlines a number of reasons, including:

• Frequent sex means you have a good intimate relationship, which can prolong life.

• Sex is a great workout! Exercise is a main component of having a healthy lifestyle.

• Sex is relaxing.

• Frequent sex can strengthen your immune system.

So make sure you choose healthy foods, don’t smoke and reduce stress. And don’t forget to make time for sex. Doctor’s orders!

Want to read more from the study? Check it out here!

Vacation Time Means Skin Care Time

This past Memorial Day holiday marks the unofficial start of summer in our hemisphere. Schools are letting out, beaches and amusement parks are open for the season, and families have more time to enjoy vacations and good weather.

While we spend more time outdoors, this is a good reminder to take care of your skin during these warm, sunny days. Our friends at Prevention magazine have important tips for all of us to keep our skin healthy during the spring and summer months. 

First, the good news: “The sun can do a lot of good. It regulates sleep cycles, stimulates the body’s production of vitamin D, and enhances feelings of well-being,” the article states. “But there’s also a downside: Exposure to sun can lead to wrinkles, age spots, and skin cancer. In fact, sunshine is considered the single biggest cause of visible aging.”

But there are ways to protect your skin, including wearing the right sunscreen with a high SPF (sun protection factor). Apply it often, even with your makeup, and apply it liberally. Think of using a shot glass full of sunscreen. That what you should be using.

And make sure you check out the moisturizing and skin care line at pureromance.com. From Coochy to Body Boost and more, your skin will thank you for taking care of it during these months when we show a little more and spend a little more time in the sun.  Contact your Consultant now so you’ll have plenty of product to get you through the summer.

Want to read more, including what to look for to avoid skin cancer? Check out the article here!

Yoga Benefits: Mind, Body… and Sexual Health?

The internet abounds with health articles and wellness blogs that expose the seemingly endless benefits of practicing yoga. From its advantages for the mind, such as reducing the symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress, to its physical benefits, including (but certainly not limited to) better balance and flexibility, weight loss, improved lung capacity and lower blood pressure, there is little to advise against the ancient practice of yoga. But, just in case you weren’t sold on its healing properties for the mind, body and soul— What about for a better sex life?

No, this isn’t just some unsubstantiated claim from a local yogi enthusiast. Accredited studies have found that practicing yoga really does improve your sex life. Harvard Health Publishing cited one study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine which indicated that regular yoga practice improves several aspects of sexual function in women, including desire, arousal, orgasm, lubrication, pain and overall satisfaction.

Women aren’t the only ones who can benefit from hitting the mat. An analogous study by neurologist Dr. Vikas Dhikav examined the effects of a similar program on the sexual satisfaction of men. His researchers found yoga to be equally advantageous across all aspects of male satisfaction; “desire, intercourse satisfaction, performance confidence, partner synchronization, erection, ejaculatory control, and orgasm.”

Now that you know why practicing yoga can lead to better sex, you may be asking yourself, “but, how?”.Remember all of the amazing benefits we mentioned that yoga can have on your mental and physical health at the beginning of this blog? The combination of reduced stress and anxiety, and increased flexibility, lung capacity, etc. are not only advantages to your overall wellbeing, but they are also effects associated with improvements in sexual response. Not only that, but “female practitioners of yoga have been found to be less likely to objectify their bodies and to be more aware of their physical selves” says Dr. Brotto, a professor in the department of Obstetrics & Gynecology at UBC. “This tendency, in turn, may be associated with increased sexual responsibility and assertiveness, and perhaps sexual desires.”

Yoga’s health benefits—both in and out of the bedroom—are undeniably remarkable. If you’re ready to roll out a mat and give yoga a try, join the Patty Brisben Foundation for our upcoming NamaSlay event at Nippert Stadium! Your body (and partner) will surely thank you. Register here!

Sex at Any Age

Do you ever think that society believes only young people have sex? From advertising to TV and movies, we usually see couples under 40 in intimate relationships. Anyone older than that usually plays the wise patriarch or matriarch of the family, doling out sage advice and seemingly living life without sex.

Well, we know better than that—in fact, couples often say that sex gets better as they get older. A recent interview on NPR with author Darcey Steinke talks about menopause and sex, and some of the misperceptions surrounding both. Her book, Flash Count Diary: Menopause and the Vindication of Natural Life looks at the author’s own experience navigating the attitudes of others about an older woman’s role regarding sex. In her opinion, if couples are willing to think beyond traditional intercourse, they will find their relationships are more intimate than ever. And, she adds, “don’t be afraid to use lots of lubrication.”

Steinke said she had to get used to the changes in herself during menopause. “I felt my very femininity was in question,” she noted. “I didn’t have a lot of the female signifiers that I once had. My hair wasn’t as smooth. I can remember a waiter once saying ‘Sir’ to me and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh. Wow. This is a whole new territory.”

As for sex, Steinke said it did change for her after menopause. “It was a gradual process,” she said. “I do remember feeling less interested in intercourse. I actually felt like it was sort of uncomfortable. Your body changes and you don’t have as much lubrication. But that is so easily fixed by lube.”

Not only did Steinke interview women about menopause and sex, she talked with more than two dozen men about how they handled their partner’s body changes. While some men said their partners didn’t want to have sex anymore, others said there was less sex but more hugging and cuddling, which the men liked.

“One man that was the most verbal about this told me that he felt like sex was now connected more to play,” she said. “There was a lightness there. The pressure is gone.”

Her advice for women whose bodies are changing? “You have to have these discussions. Things are changing. You can deny all this and just decide not to be physical anymore. But if you go into it, the level of intimacy is kind of mind-blowing. That’s really beautiful. I would hate to miss it.”

Want to read more? Check out the link to the NPR story here.