Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Feeling Blue? Go Shop!

Here we are, in the middle of the holidays, and all we hear and see, it seems, are ads to get us to buy something—either for ourselves or our loved ones. It can be a hectic time, of course, as we make sure we get the right gifts for just the right people. But did you know that shopping actually can improve our mood?

An article on womenosophy.com lists eight examples of how shopping can lift your spirits, whether you’re shopping for yourself, or shopping for loved ones. Among the examples are:

  • It gives you a positive vibe as you interact with people in the stores. They’re going to be friendly (we hope) because they want the sale, and that friendliness rubs off on you.
  • Shopping helps you forget about your problems. Being out among the crowds can take your mind off things that are bothering you. And if you find a particular strappy dress shoe that you’ve always wanted on sale, your mind turns to what occasion you’re going to wear them!!
  • Chocolate can help your mood, too! Dark chocolate especially helps you beat the blues and reduce your stress. Don’t overdo it, but a little bit of dark chocolate can boost you out of those winter doldrums.

Another article in the Huffington Post quotes a University of Michigan study that showed that shopping can reduce sadness. “Sadness is strongly associated with a sense that situational forces control the outcomes in one’s life,” the study shows.

Whether you “shop til you drop” or shop on line, the sheer act of making decisions on purchases, whether they are for yourself or a loved one, can make you feel better. So when they talk about “retail therapy,” they’re not wrong! Happy shopping, everyone!

Read more the articles here and here.

Take Stock of Your Gratitude

This is the time of year when we start looking back at our year, what we have accomplished and, sometimes, what we still want to do. We can be harsh on ourselves, when we didn’t get through our resolution list. Instead, experts say it’s important to look back on what we HAVE accomplished.

“I measure my success by the number of good ideas that I’m able to implement,” said Carolyn Goerner, a professor at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business and co-director of the Kelley Women’s Initiative. For her, that means adding new ideas to her class, organizing her wine collection and teaching her dog a new trick.

For Carrie Kerpen, author of Work It: Secrets for Success from the Boldest Women in Business, it’s looking at how she used her time. “At the end of every year, I review two things: My calendar and my photos. I look at my calendar to see how I spent my time, and I look at my photos to see if I enjoyed it,” she said.

So what is successful year for you? Is it a full calendar of bookings? Is it being able to be there for your family because your schedule is flexible? Is it taking a well-deserved family vacation? This is the time of year to be grateful for what we HAVE accomplished instead of worrying about what we haven’t. Because there’s a good chance your accomplishments are much more important to you.

Here’s advice from psychologist and empowerment coach Kate Roberts: “A successful woman is willing to make unpopular decisions and choices, because living with integrity and having self-approval is more important than gaining someone else’s approval,” she said. “A successful woman is a woman who knows how to be true to herself.”

Sounds like that was written just for you, right?? We are thankful and honored to have you, our successful women, as part of the Pure Romance team. And we hope you look back on this year with a sense of accomplishment and optimism for next year.

Want to read the rest of the article? Here’s the link:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2018/12/01/signs-success/2117456002/

Are You Dressing for Him? Or for You?

An article this week in the New York Times about lingerie company Victoria’s Secret caught my eye, not just because the VS annual fashion show is coming up in a couple of weeks (it’s mentioned in the article) but how the company is trying to adjust to our changing lifestyles and opinions.

Victoria’s Secret, the article notes, is still the leading lingerie brand in the U.S., but its share of the underwear market is shrinking. Why? Paul Lejuez, a retail analyst at Citi, offers this: “Women don’t want to be viewed as stereotypical sexy supermodels buying lingerie just to impress men.”

That opens another question: When you get dressed up, who are you dressing up for? To impress men, women or yourself? An article in bustle.com suggests all three—men if you’re on a date, girlfriends who, frankly, are the only ones who can appreciate how hard you worked to look this good, and yourself, when you need a confidence boost for an important meeting or presentation.

Let’s face it, there’s something to be said for putting on a fabulous lingerie set (may I suggest from Pure Romance??) and setting off to work, with only you knowing what lies beneath that power suit. Dressing for yourself is just as important as dressing for someone else, maybe even more so.

So, don’t be afraid to put down something lacy for yourself on your holiday shopping list. It can make your whole outfit come together and, in turn, your entire demeanor. As one Bustle blogger put it, “When I wear an outfit that makes me happy, I feel like I get at least one compliment from another woman that they feel the same way. To me, getting a compliment from a woman is much more valuable than one coming from a man.”

 

The New York Times article is here.

The bustle.com article is here.

When Your Spouse is Married to the Military

Today we continue to mark Veterans Day in America, a day when we thank the veterans (and their families) who give so much for our country. We have a number of military spouses who are Pure Romance Consultants, and we know first hand what it means for them to hold down a job while raising a family and keeping their often-long distance relationship going.

The website taskandpurpose.com, a military news and lifestyle site, recently posted an article on how couples who may be separated by military assignments can keep their relationships going, even during long deployments. The article quotes Rhonda Milrad, the founder of Relationup, an app that provides relationship advice. (yes, there’s an app for that!)

Milrad says it’s best to set expectations even before the deployment starts. First, she says, talking with your partner about how often you’ll be able to contact each other is key. If it is a frontline deployment, the opportunities for contact may be few. For others, they can keep a more regular flow of communication. She says first find a schedule, then find a way to communicate—whether it’s phone, by Skype or by text. Every couple has a different style through which they like to chat.

Second, decide what you will talk about. No one wants to wait anxiously for a phone call, just to hear the other person gripe about their day, their boss, their schedule. Yes, there will be times that one or the other of you wants to vent. But don’t make the few minutes you have to talk become a gripe session. Also, she says, watch what you share with your partner. “If you’re not the type of person who wants a photo of your loved one kicking back on the beach because it makes you miss home, and you’d rather discuss the work that you’re doing or what’s been going on around the house, then do that,” she says.

Finally, those who are left home should create a support network. “At the beginning, there’s usually a surge of support and then over time, it deflates and diminishes,” says Milrad, who adds that you can encourage your family to play more pro-active roles in supporting the person who’s staying at home.

Those in the military, and their families, sacrifice so much to keep our country free. On this Veterans Day weekend we continue to salute them, and thank all of them for their service to our country.

Want to read more from the article? Here’s the link: https://taskandpurpose.com/3-things-know-long-distance-relationships-military/

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up!

We’ve heard a lot recently about making your voice heard by voting in this week’s elections. I hope you do! But now let’s talk literally about speaking up to your peers, your community, and in front of your business colleagues.

A recent article on NPR’s Facebook page caught my attention with the headline “All-Male Panels Are Still the Norm.” Men, the article says, outnumbered women 2 to 1 as event speakers over the last five years. Women were more likely to speak at fundraisers or social gatherings but were rarely invited to speak at conventions or conferences.

A survey by the event software company Bizzabo found that of the 60,000 speakers the company analyzed in 23 countries, 69 percent were men. And despite the talk about gender equity and harassment in the workplace, the number of women speakers has increased by only two percent in the last two years.

The survey found that the U.S. ranked third in gender diversity out of the 23 countries.

As independent businesswomen, our Consultants are more than qualified to be speakers in their own business communities. And I encourage all of you to take advantage of opportunities in your area to be on panels, to present to business organizations, and to tell your story. Not only do you get to represent Pure Romance as a great opportunity for women in business, you position yourself as a successful small business owner. And let’s see if we can increase that percentage of women speakers more than two percent over the next two years!

Want to read more? Check it out here.