There’s nothing like the excitement that comes from being a single girl chased by a charming “suitor”. So what happens a few years into the relationship or after marriage when the dust has settled? Some women are unnerved to find themselves in the traditional male role of seducing their partner for sex only to be turned down. This can be a devastating blow to the ego. Especially when she remembers the earlier days when the two of them couldn’t get enough of each other!
There is one thing that needs to be said first and foremost: if this becomes a pattern within the relationship then it should be openly and honestly addressed. Many low sex and no sex marriages don’t become that way over night. It takes many years of repeatedly pushing sex to the bottom of the priority list. However, if you and your partner have a healthy sexual relationship and you find that he or she isn’t in the mood once in a while, it’s important not to take it personally.
The problem is that many people fail to communicate and instead imagine that their intimate life should always be romantic and exciting. They often compare how they think other couples would respond in the same situation and uphold idealistic expectations.
The truth is sometimes people just aren’t feeling well, they’re tired or thinking about something stressful that happened to them at work that day. When we become self-conscious and assume it is all about us, we become ME people. We waste energy in being offended and are not taking the other person’s thoughts or feelings into consideration. Next time you are feeling rejected in this type of situation, try being a better listener. Let them know you will give them their space and that you will be there if they need you.
If you consciously make the choice to not be offended and still believe you are the sex goddess you are (smile), this will hold much more power than a five-minute lovemaking session. Expecting sex to be magnificent every time you are together is unrealistic, as well as expecting it will stay exactly how it was in the very beginning when sex was novel. If it was amazing every single time, then how would we really know what great sex was? Like many things in life we are meant to experience highs and lows of sex so that we may really enjoy it those times when everything comes together and we are in perfect sync with our mate.