When Your Spouse is Married to the Military

Today we continue to mark Veterans Day in America, a day when we thank the veterans (and their families) who give so much for our country. We have a number of military spouses who are Pure Romance Consultants, and we know first hand what it means for them to hold down a job while raising a family and keeping their often-long distance relationship going.

The website taskandpurpose.com, a military news and lifestyle site, recently posted an article on how couples who may be separated by military assignments can keep their relationships going, even during long deployments. The article quotes Rhonda Milrad, the founder of Relationup, an app that provides relationship advice. (yes, there’s an app for that!)

Milrad says it’s best to set expectations even before the deployment starts. First, she says, talking with your partner about how often you’ll be able to contact each other is key. If it is a frontline deployment, the opportunities for contact may be few. For others, they can keep a more regular flow of communication. She says first find a schedule, then find a way to communicate—whether it’s phone, by Skype or by text. Every couple has a different style through which they like to chat.

Second, decide what you will talk about. No one wants to wait anxiously for a phone call, just to hear the other person gripe about their day, their boss, their schedule. Yes, there will be times that one or the other of you wants to vent. But don’t make the few minutes you have to talk become a gripe session. Also, she says, watch what you share with your partner. “If you’re not the type of person who wants a photo of your loved one kicking back on the beach because it makes you miss home, and you’d rather discuss the work that you’re doing or what’s been going on around the house, then do that,” she says.

Finally, those who are left home should create a support network. “At the beginning, there’s usually a surge of support and then over time, it deflates and diminishes,” says Milrad, who adds that you can encourage your family to play more pro-active roles in supporting the person who’s staying at home.

Those in the military, and their families, sacrifice so much to keep our country free. On this Veterans Day weekend we continue to salute them, and thank all of them for their service to our country.

Want to read more from the article? Here’s the link: https://taskandpurpose.com/3-things-know-long-distance-relationships-military/

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