As I travel throughout the country, I am often asked by women everywhere what my thoughts are about the g-spot. Women ask me a variety of questions, include if they have a g-spot and how to find pleasure from this elusive area of their anatomy. I enjoy educating women about the variety of pleasure they can experience from knowing their own bodies, and have provided a great deal of information about g-spot stimulation and g-spot toys in my book, Pure Romance Between the Sheets.
The g-spot is a zone about two or three inches inside the vagina on the front wall, closest to the clitoris or pubic bone. With the right technique and a bit of practice it can yield lots and lots of pleasure for women including orgasm, multiple orgasms, and female ejaculation. It is safe to say that any woman that has a vagina 1-2 inches in length typically has a g-spot. However, not all women find g-spot stimulation to be pleasurable. It’s all about finding what is right for you. The best way to locate your g-spot is to extend your first two fingers (index and middle fingers) and make a “come here” motion. If you were to do that inside your vagina, that is the approximate location of your g-spot. Because of the location of the g-spot, you will find g-spot toys that are curved (like Pure Romance’s Chubby G) will often best stimulate this sensitive area.
Here are some simple things to help both a woman and her partner understand and discover her g-spot:
- It is important to discuss beforehand with your partner what you would like to accomplish or the techniques you would like to try.
- You may even want to read more about the g-spot before engaging in any intimate activity. You can read Chapter 4 in my book for a refresher on g-spot stimulation or for more information and various ideas for stimulation.
- Engage in LOTS and LOTS of foreplay (minimum 30 minutes, preferably an hour). It may even be help to experience an orgasm from clitoral stimulation to make sure you are sufficiently aroused. This will make it much easier to locate and stimulate the g-spot.
- Lie on your back and pull your knees up. It also helps to place a pillow or two under your hips. The Sex Sling can also help get you into the ideal position for g-spot stimulation.
- Massage back and forth with your fingers, your partner’s fingers, or a g-spot stimulator, gently at first, then harder, eventually using lots of pressure. You can also start the toy off on a slower speed and pulsation and work up to a faster speed to heighten arousal.
The most common barrier to reaching a g-spot orgasm is feeling like you might urinate. Sometimes during g-spot massage you’ll get this feeling and you may stop stimulating that area. In order to put your mind at rest and focus on the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing there are a few things you can try. First, go to the bathroom and empty your bladder. When you start massaging the g-spot, you might experience a feeling like you have to urinate, but you can take comfort in knowing that you’ve just emptied your bladder. If you do experience some sort of release of fluid, know that what is happening is the build up to female ejaculation. This is a clear or white substance similar to male semen that may come out of your urethral opening during orgasm. The ejaculation doesn’t come from the bladder and is not urine. It comes from the paraurethral glands, a collection of small glands parallel to or surrounding the urethra. Female ejaculation is usually very, very pleasurable, and is most likely to happen during g-spot stimulation. Put a towel or two underneath you to help make you feel more at ease, and talk to your partner about it beforehand.
The way to move past the feeling like you need to urinate is to just let go. You get this feeling because the paraurethral glands are beginning to fill the urethra with ejaculate. If this is a new sensation, you’ll probably think you will or have urinated. Let the tension build up and let the feeling go. If you can get over this feeling, there’s a good chance you’ll reach orgasm from g-spot stimulation, and may possibly experience multiple orgasms. Before you engage in any g-spot stimulation, it is important to discuss it with your partner, especially about the possibility of an ejaculation. This will help alleviate any fears you both have about the experience and allow you to both enjoy g-spot stimulation.
With some practice and patience, g-spot massage can produce an orgasm for most women. If you are experimenting with g-spot stimulation with a partner, it is important to communicate to them what feels good, so they can understand the techniques that are most pleasurable to you. There is a way to ‘feel’ the orgasm happening – you can feel the orgasmic contractions. This will be a light, rhythmical squeezing of the vagina, lasting about five to 10 seconds.
If you keep stimulating the g-spot after the first orgasm, it’s possible to reach a second, third or more. If you reach the first orgasm from g-spot stimulation, ask your partner to keep going until he feels the orgasmic contractions finish. You can start stimulating again when it feels comfortable and pleasurable. This may be right away or a few seconds after orgasm. If you keep going like this you may reach a second or even third orgasm.
If you still have trouble getting pleasure from g-spot stimulation and have tried everything you can think of, including different positions, types of stimulation, I suggest sticking with what works for your body. This may be oral sex, penetration, clitoral stimulation or a combination of everything. Not every woman will experience the same types of stimulation and pleasurable sensations. What works for you may not work for other women. So, although the g-spot may be an extremely pleasurable area on some women, your body may respond better to other types of stimulation. Maybe try a combination of g-spot and clitoral stimulation to see if you find that pleasurable. Keep experimenting until you find what works best for you… pleasure is paramount.