When the Big “O” Doesn’t Come (no pun intended) Naturally
If you are one of the lucky ones who has no trouble reaching orgasm during sex, good for you. It may be natural, but it might not be easy for everyone—in fact, I’d bet that in your circle of friends, there’s one or two who might admit that they rarely, if ever, have orgasms. But there are ways to make it easier.
An article on the website mindbodygreen.com discusses ten reasons why some women have trouble reaching orgasm—or don’t orgasm at all, and what can be done about it. They include:
- Not “pre-heating the oven” so to speak. Author Emily Nagoski PhD says, “It still surprises me how many women believe orgasm should just happen, more or less without effort.” She suggests that women worry about not having orgasms during intercourse. “But actually, less than a third of women are reliably orgasmic from penetration alone,” she says. When in doubt, she suggests adding clitoral stimulation from a vibrator or other means.
- Not taking enough time. It can take from a few minutes to most of an hour to have an orgasm, she says. “Orgasms are like childbirth: They take as long as they take, and each one is different.”
- Recovering from trauma. One in five women, Dr. Nagoski says, has experienced sexual violence, and it can affect relationships. “Healing from trauma takes patience, self-compassion and opportunities to experience sexual pleasure in contexts where you feel safe inside your own body.” She suggests starting on your own, figuring out what you want and what makes you feel good.
- Not liking your own body. The problem, Dr. Nagoski writes, is we’ve been taught that only people with perfect bodies are allowed to have sex and if you’re not perfect, too bad for you.
“It takes time and practice to replace those self-critical thoughts with affection for your body, but the benefits extend far beyond having more and better orgasms,” she says.
Adding performance enhancers when you’re getting intimate can also make it more possible for you to reach an orgasm. As Dr. Nagoski suggested, try adding clitoral stimulation from a vibrator during intercourse through the use of a c-ring. Pure Romance also offers enhancement creams like GPS, which enlarges the g-spot and increases sensitivity making it easier to experience a g-spot orgasm through penetration.
The bottom line is, she says, “the best orgasms happen when we surrender in a context of trust, affection, permission, and acceptance of all the things our bodies are and do.” Trust your partner, trust yourself and find out what YOU like. The results can change your life.
Click HERE to read more from the article!