Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Make Time For Sex: Doctor’s Orders!

Dr. Ruth made sex talk sexy in the 1980s—her blunt talk about sex and relationships shocked some, and educated many others. She broke down a lot of barriers with her frank discussions, she became a Hollywood celebrity, a talk show favorite and a relationship author.  She’s still at it today, giving sex advice as she closes in on her 91st birthday.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer is now the subject of a new documentary, “Ask Dr. Ruth,” looking at her life from a Jewish Holocaust refugee to celebrity sex therapist. And she’s still giving advice. In a recent New York Times interview, Dr. Ruth said that the questions she gets about sex are different now. “I get less questions about women’s sexual satisfaction,” she said. “Women have learned they are responsible for their own orgasms.” (editorial note: YES!!)

She also said she hears a lot from millennials about not having time for sex. “That doesn’t hold true for me,” Dr. Ruth said. “In the olden days, immigrants, for example, who worked in the needle trade, who worked in the garment industry, they worked much harder. They still had sex. Otherwise we wouldn’t be around.”

Her advice to the millennial asking the question? “Make time.”

She also said she’s worried about the lost art of conversation. “We walk into a restaurant, and you see even families sitting on their phones,” she said. “You can’t have a couple not talking to each other for 24 hours then expect to have good sex. It doesn’t work. Part of a good relationship is a good conversation.”

Dr. Ruth also offers her take on “ghosting” in relationships, her thoughts on online dating and her Twitter account. She paved the way for us to not be shy about sex talk, to bring relationship issues out in the open and to offer advice about making our relationships work. Dr. Ruth is still going strong, and still has great advice to give. Thank you, Dr. Ruth!

Want to read more about sex pioneer Dr. Ruth? Read the article here.

The Rites of Spring

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for spring weather to be here—and STAY here! In our area it’s often 70 one day and 50 the next, while in the meantime, spring flowers bravely bloom, daring the cold to stifle their beauty.

Spring, it is said, is the time for romance. And while it may be a popular theme in poetry and song, there is some scientific fact behind our “spring fever.” Relationship expert April Masini, in an article for Brit and Co., says spring does the same thing for humans as it does for animals—it’s the time to look for potential partners.

She offers three reasons why spring is the time for new (or renewed) relationships. First, we’re coming out of our own winter hibernation. As soon as temperatures warm up, we head outside after a long, cold winter. “With all these folks outside,” April says, “especially after being cooped up for the winter, your options for dating are suddenly rich.”

Secondly, she says, spring weather puts us in a good mood. The sun is shining, and that Vitamin D naturally boosts our mood AND our libido. “People want to reach out,” she says. “They want to connect. And they want romance.”

And third, we’re shedding the sweaters and coats and showing a little skin. After three months or more of chilly temperatures, we can’t wait to break out the sundresses and t-shirts!

So there is science behind springtime romance! (And you thought you’d never use those biology classes you took in school) Enjoy spring and enjoy the science of renewing your relationship or finding a new one! If you want to read more about the science of spring romance, here’s the article.

Vasectomy Season?

I hope you have been enjoying the college basketball games these past weekends. Even if your favorite team isn’t in the playoffs, it’s still exciting to watch! But did you know that this time of the year is the most popular time for men to get vasectomies?

The Mayo Clinic reports that just about every year, their clinic reaches max capacity for vasectomies. And here’s why: Men schedule their vasectomies just before tournament weekend, so they can have medical time off during the games. Stay on the couch, take a couple of sick days, and enjoy basketball!

Dr. T.J. Tipton, a urologist with Roper St. Francis in Charleston, South Carolina, tells the Post and Courier that it’s a real thing. “The sport and the event itself kind of transcend basketball,” Tipton said. “They’ll come in with their Kentucky or UNC basketball shirts on.”

The New York Times quotes a study last year that found a peak in the number of vasectomies during March — and also at the end of the year during the holidays. Still, most men in this country don’t opt for sterilization: They rely on their female partners to prevent pregnancy.

In the United States, female sterilization is twice as prevalent as vasectomy, according to 2015 estimates from the United Nations — despite the fact that vasectomy is equally effective, less invasive and carries a lower risk of complications.

Dr. Anuj Khattar, a fellow with Physicians for Reproductive Health who practices in the Seattle area, tells the Times that after the initial consultation, 20 to 30 percent of his patients end up either changing their minds or simply not showing up for the procedure.

“I think part of the fears around vasectomy is that it’s so permanent,” Dr. Khattar said, adding that some men worry about “losing some of their virility and their ability to enjoy sex” even though, the doctor said, it doesn’t affect any of those functions.

The article also looks at the risks involved between vasectomies and tubal ligation for women: “Unlike vasectomy, which is a quick outpatient procedure to cut and seal the tubes that carry sperm and block the transfer of sperm to the ejaculate, tubal ligation is far more invasive and often conducted under general anesthesia.”

The article continues, “The surgery, which involves cutting or blocking the fallopian tubes, carries higher rates of complications, including damage to surrounding organs, said Dr. Holly Bullock, an assistant professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Arizona Colleg of Medicine in Tucson.”

Want to learn more about the March Madness phenomenon? Read the full article here.

Making Space for Yourself

So have you “Marie Kondo’d” your house yet? If you haven’t watched her show or read her articles, Marie Kondo is helping us declutter our living spaces. The idea behind decluttering is that your “stuff,” or rather the accumulation of your “stuff,” is keeping you from your own happiness. If something does not bring you joy, be it an article of clothing or a knick-knack from a long-ago vacation, you should thank it for its time with you, then put it in the donation pile.

Many people have spent this new year cleaning out closets, old storage bins and the like, hoping the decluttering will free their space and help them organize. But how about decluttering our minds as well? An article in Forbes suggests that our minds need decluttering from time to time, as well. In fact, the article says that “clutter is simply delayed decisions.”

The article suggests that just like our closets, our mind needs to be cleaned out as well and that getting rid of mental baggage is important for all of us to stay focused, motivated and productive.

Among the 10 tips for a decluttered mind are:

  • Set priorities. What means the most to you, including your own personal goals and aspirations? Do you want to move up in the Pure Romance ranks? Do you want to carve out the time for more parties? Decide what your priorities are, then create an action plan to make them happen.
  • Keep a journal. According to research in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, expressive writing improves our working memory and can free our minds for other mental activities, including handling stress better.
  • Breathe. Sounds simple, but pausing to take a deep breath can help clear your mind, lower your heart rate and steady your blood pressure. And it’s easy!

Go ahead and clean out your closets and that kitchen junk drawer. But remember, to clear out your mind, as well. Set your goals, and come up with a way to make them happen. Spring cleaning isn’t just for your house, it’s for your life as well!

Want to learn more? Read the rest of the article here.

Learning to Lead

More women are leading than ever before! Whether it’s on Capitol Hill or in the boardroom, more women than ever are in positions of authority. As a Pure Romance Consultant, of course, you know that, as you’re the CEO of your own small business! I remember the days when I was getting Pure Romance off the ground—as a single mom, supporting my family, juggling home and work, I was eager to learn anything I could to help me be a better leader and business person.

We hope you take advantage of the opportunities we offer, from weekend seminars to the upcoming World Conference in Las Vegas, to learn from our experts and from each other how to run your business. (In fact, today is the last day for registration to the World Conference, so make sure you sign up at now!)

A recent Forbes article lists some suggestions on how women can become better leaders. Dr. Betty Vandenbosch of Purdue University Global offers tips for all of us, including:

  • Actively listen. You’ll be able to work with your team more effectively, she says
  • Set regular meetings. It gives everyone a chance to talk about what’s going on
  • Don’t be afraid to change course. Innovative leaders are not afraid to change course when warranted, she says

Beth Gerstein, the Co-CEO of Brilliant Earth jewelry, has her own suggestions for female leaders, including:

  • Be persistent
  • Lead by example
  • You’re only as good as your team

All great ideas for our own lives, and our businesses. Don’t forget, stay a student and learn more about leadership at our World Conference next month!

Want to learn more? Here’s the link to the Forbes article.