There’s nothing sexy about breast pumps, pacifiers and stepping over toys on the way to the bedroom. As a mother of four, I know parenthood is one of the most amazing blessings life can offer, but I also know you have to work that much harder to make sure your relationship is getting the attention it deserves. We are so focused on the children, and understandably so. But it’s SO important to still feel sexy and feel like a woman again. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to boost your self-confidence and get out of the post-baby funk many of us often drift into before we even know it’s happening. It can be scary to break out of the routine, but it’s that adrenaline that will fuel your intimate life and get the fire going again, I can promise you. Until you change the game, it’s not going to happen on its own.
We are creatures of habit. If we don’t get out of our comfort zone and force ourselves to try new things, that’s when we end up getting into that ho-hum boring rut. It’s up to us to work to make things new and challenging – and I mean that in the most positive way. I’ve walked in your shoes. It won’t change on its own – in fact, it will be very uncomfortable before you can find yourself again!
We were raised to believe that men are knights on a white horse who are going to save us and solve all of our problems. Sometimes you have to be your own savior. You have to set the bar. If you want something, don’t wait for it to come to you, go after it!
In relationships, sometimes it seems like all of the pressure is on women to be seductive, but this shouldn’t be the case. You should both be working to improve intimacy. And here’s the thing: once you take that first step, I promise you that it will create a (very pleasurable) domino effect. Your partner will notice something is different and begin creating new responses among old behaviors.
When kids are involved, men also can worry about “rocking the boat,” or coming off as needy when you have your hands full with the children. Taking initiative and showing him that you see your relationship with him just as important is the first step to reconnecting and being on your way back to a second honeymoon.
Below are a couple fun game-changers that will get you started…(don’t feel like every single suggestion has to be a perfect fit for you!)
1. There’s nothing sexier than cooking a meal together! (This is one of my favorites!)
2. Throw on a pair of sexy high heels once in a while
3. Sometimes it’s hard to open up to one another – play any one of the Pure Romance “Date Night” games to open the doors of communication and also try something new
4. Stop by the makeup counter next time you’re at the mall and have a professional demo a brand new look on you that will make him feel like he’s seeing you for the first time!
5. Wear a wig – in or out of the bedroom…
6. Take story time to a whole new level by reading him some erotica
7. Slip on a long strand of pearls with only a silk top and thong (or nothing at all); think Carrie in Sex and the City, the movie.
8. When you get up and move, you feel better; get active – whether it’s a “Pole Dancing” class, yoga or other fun/sexually-charged fitness (think Zumba) classes that will also get you feeling wonderful (and sexy!) in your own skin again
9. It’s no secret men are visual. One night, tell him where to meet you and show up wearing something completely unexpected.
10. Plan a party with your closest girlfriends and include a hair stylist, makeup artist fashion stylist, and Pure Romance Consultant and do a group makeover!