Inspiring Women to Live with Poise, Flair, and Purpose

Are You and Your Partner REALLY Compatible?

You’ve met someone who has swept you off your feet, to whom you feel totally attracted and, yes, the sex is pretty good, too. But once the glow of infatuation fades, are you two made for the long haul? Does being sexually compatible mean, you can be compatible in your overall relationship?

Actually, it can, according to an article from Psychology Today. Kristen Mark, Ph.D. “Perceiving sexual compatibility with a partner has been shown to be related to sexual satisfaction,” she writes, “such that the more sexually compatible you are, the more sexually satisfied you are.

“And researchers have consistently found that sexual satisfaction is also significantly positively related to relationship satisfaction; when one increases (or decreases), the other tends to follow.”

So what does compatible mean? It could be as simple as preferences in the bedroom. “If one of you always wants sex with the lights on but one of you always wants sex with the lights off, it may impact your compatibility and perhaps also your satisfaction,” Dr. Mark writes.

But thinking that you’re compatible can be as much of an indicator as having the same sexual preferences. “Regardless of whether you like to engage in the same sexual behaviors as your partner, as long as you perceive that you are compatible, you’ll be sexually and relationally satisfied.”

How do you know that you’re sexually compatible? Dating coach Cora Boyd in gives us four signs that experts say show you’re compatible, including:

  • Anticipating your partner’s needs, not just in the bedroom but in everyday life
  • Receiving feedback constructively. “A defensive person who can’t receive feedback from you gracefully won’t be willing to go to the next level without making it about themselves,” said Boyd.

Communication is the key! Make sure you and your partner talk about your likes and dislikes to make your relationship more compatible in all phases of your lives!

Want to read more? Click here to check out the Psychology Today article.

And read more about how to tell if you’re compatible with your partner from here!

October is for ALL women

Fall may be the time for autumn colors of golden and brown leaves, but in October, we’ll turn pink as we celebrate National Breast Cancer Awareness Month—a great time for you to check on your own breast health with a mammogram, and to remind your friends and family to do the same.

We talk a lot about #sexualhealthmatters, and that includes sex after a mastectomy. In fact, reports that in a study, more than two-thirds of surveyed breast cancer survivors reported that they were still having sexual function problems months after diagnosis.

“Sexual problems are among the most common and least talked about side effects of breast cancer treatment,” study co-author Susan R. Davis, MD, of Victoria, Australia’s Monash University Medical School tells WebMD.

The problems are often two-fold, according to gynecologist and breast cancer survivor Melanie Bone. Body image issues after breast surgery and vaginal dryness related to medications were among the most frequently mentioned complaints. A good lubricant from Pure Romance can help with the dryness. The body image part, researchers say, is more difficult.

“From the moment the surgeon takes a knife to your breast — unless you have superhuman self-esteem — there is an impact on sexuality,” Dr. Bone says. Even women who have breast-sparing surgery may no longer enjoy having their breasts touched during sex because it reminds them of their cancer and treatment.

But for those with supportive partners, the return of a satisfying sexual relationship is more likely, according to an article on According to the article, Researchers at UCLA, USC and Georgetown surveyed 863 breast cancer survivors two years after treatment. Compared with a control group of cancer-free women, the participants’ libido, erotic responsiveness, orgasms and sexual satisfaction were pretty much the same. In other words, breast cancer survivors recover not just physically but sexually within about two years

In another survey of 139 married breast-cancer survivors 20 months after diagnosis, UCLA researchers found that sexual activity and satisfaction hinge on a couple’s ability to support each other through the experience.

As we mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it’s a perfect time to make sure you and your friends have had that annual mammogram, and to support those who are undergoing treatment or are now survivors.

Helping women now, and in the future

How would you feel if you needed health care but couldn’t get it? What if your children needed to go to the doctor but there was not a pediatric medical facility close by? That’s the problem many women face now when looking for a doctor to take care of their sexual health.

The Patty Brisben Foundation is focused on serving women’s sexual health needs. It’s a need that is here now, and will be greater in the future, according to a study in the Journal of Women’s Health. The demand for women’s health care in the U.S. alone is estimated to grow by 6% by 2020—that’s only three months away!

Demand is expected to grow fastest in areas with the highest population jump (Texas, Florida), in the Western states where supply, the report says, is already less than adequate, and among Hispanic women. “This increase in demand by 2020 will translate into a need for physicians or nonphysician clinicians, which is clinically equivalent to 2,090 full-time ob-gyns,” the article notes.

The study also mentions what might happen to women’s health services without more facilities: “Ob-gyns in certain locations,” according to the report, “may have to limit their practice more and not assume expanded roles in addressing women’s primary care needs.”

That’s why the Patty Brisben Foundation is so passionate about research into women’s sexual health, and making sure facilities are available for women who need them, not just in the United States, but around the world. And that’s why we hold our Gala each year—this year on Saturday, October 12. “All That Glitters Is Glam” will be a lot of fun, but there’s a serious side to what we do—raise money so that all women can have adequate care for their sexual health concerns.

If you’re in the Cincinnati area, we’d love to see you at the Gala. If not, please consider donating to the Patty Brisben Foundation so your friends, neighbors and sisters here and around the globe can be assured that #sexualhealthmatters!

Read more on the study from the Journal of Women’s Health here!

There’s sexy science behind pumpkin spice!

Have you noticed how early pumpkin spice everything arrived on the shelves this year? It seems as if we were still on the beach and all of a sudden everything pumpkin spice from donuts to coffee to cereal was on sale. Well, even if you’re not a fan right now of pumpkin spice, you might be once you find out it can spice up your love life!

In an article for, Lee Ann Obringer writes about scents being powerful aphrodisiacs, including, yes, pumpkin spice. But first, how they work:

Dr. Alan R. Hirsch from the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and the author of Scentsational Sex, did a study on how smells affected our arousal. And he found out several scents can be turn-ons, including cheese pizza, buttered popcorn, lavender and, yes, pumpkin pie. Even licorice candy can be arousing!

In an earlier article in the New York Daily News, Dr. Hirsch noted that the combination of the lavender and pumpkin pie scents increased penile blood flow up to 40 percent. Even vanilla and strawberry smells can be arousing.

If you’re making the pumpkin pie from scratch, don’t throw away those seeds. “The most important element of the pumpkin are the seeds themselves,” said Palm Beach Gardens Alternative medicine expert Dr. Ralph Monserrat.

“Pumpkin seeds are very rich in zinc. That, in itself, is very valuable in individuals who have prostate enlargement…because they are very rich in zinc, there will be an increase in testosterone and that increase will also increase the sexual desire,” said Monserrat.

The perfume industry was built on the premise that scent can attract a prospective mate. Now, you can add a pumpkin spice latte to your dating ritual as well! Want to read more? Here are the links:

The smell of pumpkin pie may be good for your sex life

Pumpkin pie smell stimulates arousal in men; Scent is sexy aphrodisiac, says study

Here’s A Holiday Sex Tip: Pumpkin Pie Can Help Your Man … Get It Up For Some Holiday Loving!!!

Get Moving for PBF!

You all know what passion I have for the Patty Brisben Foundation. It’s certainly a project close to my heart, especially now that we’re spreading the word around the world that #sexualhealthmatters.

Because of the generosity of thousands of people like you, we can continue to fund important research while educating more than 10 million women a year about the beauty of their bodies. We fund projects, research and grants around the world, but the work is never completely finished. We need donations to continue helping these women with their sexual health and sexual education.

That’s why, again this year, we are partnering with the Queen Bee Half Marathon its Medpace 4 Mile event to raise money for the Patty Brisben Foundation through a virtual 4 miler. The first year we partnered with the Queen Bee, you raised more than $10,000 for the Foundation and we want to do it again!

A virtual event is simple: You can do four miles whenever you want—two miles today, two miles next week, or however your schedule works. You can do them by yourself, on a treadmill, with a group of friends or your fellow Consultants. You can even make a party of it, as many Consultants have done, bringing in friends and family for a Saturday afternoon picnic, and finish the four miles then!

However you do the four miles, remember that you are doing them for women around the world who don’t have the access to sexual health and education that we do. You are helping women empower themselves, with the knowledge that there’s nothing wrong, dirty or embarrassing about sexual health. You are leading women down the path of taking charge of their own sexual health, and that’s a powerful message.

So be part of the Queen Bee Medpace 4 Mile event, and be part of a worldwide movement to remind everyone that #sexualhealthmatters! Sign up here!