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HEATHER DOLEN: Pure Romance Moms Who Do It All!

In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, I’ve been featuring Consultants who have done an amazing job balancing motherhood and their careers with Pure Romance. Each day of the week leading up to Mother’s Day, I will be spotlighting a Consultant’s point of view and on Mother’s Day, I will share my own thoughts on maintaining balance – because when it comes to family and work, I do believe it’s possible to have it all!

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Heather Dolen (Columbia, SC) - When this wonderful woman came on board and I met her for the first time, one of the things she let me know immediately is that she is a Mom who is really invested in her family and her children; she loved that her Pure Romance business allowed her to be present as a mother and pursue a career. She also made sure to let me know that I might not have known who she was then, but I will know her face and name soon enough – she made that goal a reality in a very short amount of time, and just this year it gave me great joy to award her the promotion to the Executive Board! I chose Heather for this Mother’s Day blog series because she is a wonderful mother who manages an abundantly successful business. I admire that when Heather looks at her business, she is looking at the success of everyone on her team. Her sales numbers prove her charisma and expertise, and the depth of her Downline showcases her skills as a true leader and businesswoman. To think that she manages all of this, and a healthy marriage while raising two growing boys! She exhibits the qualities it takes to be truly successful in life, and she will leave a legacy in this world through her children, as well as her Downline. Business aside, Heather is the same loving, funny and caring person I met so many years ago – she hasn’t let her success get in the way of her amazing character.

                        A quote I live by: 

IMG_7978Tips to keep a balanced life: Balance, you say? What is that? Ha, Ha, I am not really sure if there is such a thing as a perfect balance, but we love our daily grind and it works well for us!

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Pure Romance is a lifestyle for my family and me, and I am just thankful that I can have a career that allows me to call all of the shots and work the hours I choose! I may hold parties on the weekend, but I also have the power and say-so to take any time off that I want or need at any time! Almost three years ago, I decided to take a huge step with my business and my husband and I decided he should resign from his 20+ years career to work at home with me. He makes such an awesome assistant and is now able to enjoy taking care of our boys, getting them ready for school during the week, and being able to chaperone field trips! He takes care of so much for the business and our household! Then there’s the fact that he is a morning person so this works awesome for me, as I am a night owl! He keeps me organized and does a great job managing the day-in and day-out duties, so I would have to say that it is both of us that keep our family and business as balanced as it is! One of our favorite perks is knowing that if we need or want to, we can drop things at a moment’s notice to enjoy a vacation, night or two away, or help to take care of anything that needs our immediate attention. We love the flexibility and real-life freedom!

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Heather has two kids, ages 16 and 12, named Nicholas and Hayden. She has been married to Shawn Dolen for 17 years.

A story about motherhood and business: One evening Shawn and I and our 16-year-old and 12-year-old were out to dinner. It was one of those rare occasions that actually I had not YET told the waitress what I did for a living. My kids know that most of the time when we are out in public that mom always tells others about what she does…so after friendly conversation (and around her 3rd visit to our table), she walks away and my 12-year-old, Hayden, asked me why I had not given the waitress my business card and told her about Pure Romance!? HUH? She had already told us in a previous conversation how she was planning to move herself and children in a few months to be closer to her family and my SON suggested to me how “she could take her parties with her wherever she went, and that she could find more Pure Romance ladies to have fun and be friends with!” I was floored that he reprimanded his own mother for not giving her pitch!

Yep, my jaw dropped, my heart melted, and it was total confirmation to me that even he understood the passion, drive, and the depth of what his mom really does. Of course I had to give her my business card the next time she came to the table! By the time we paid the bill, she was ready to book her own party and discuss the career opportunity, too! It really makes me proud to see and experience how my husband and I show our kids constantly to love what they do (whatever that may be) in their future, to find their passion, be stable and consistent, and always try and help others by paying it forward!

KALEN CLARK: Pure Romance Moms Who Do It All!

In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, I am featuring Consultants who have done an amazing job balancing motherhood and their careers with Pure Romance. Each day of the week leading up to Mother’s Day, I will be spotlighting a Consultant’s point of view on the three questions below. On Mother’s Day, I will share my own thoughts on maintaining balance – because when it comes to family and work, I do believe it’s possible to have it all!

1. What quote do you live by?
2. What three to four tips you can share on how to keep your business and family life balanced?
3. Do you have a special story about being a mother and a businesswoman that is funny, inspirational or both?

Kalen Clark (Lexington, KY) - I selected this young Mom because she exhibits the passion and energy it takes to be successful in this business. On top of taking care of two little ones, she earned her stripes within her first year by signing and activating 29 Consultants between July 2012 and June 2013. She hit Executive Director this April, less than three years in this business and she just had a baby three months ago! What I truly admire about Kalen is that she doesn’t use her family as an excuse. She is a loving mother to three children under the age of five, and a truly successful owner and operator of her Pure Romance enterprise. Kalen is teaching her children the value of strong work ethic and time management and defining success for her Downline.

A quote I live by:
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” -Nora Ephron

That quote gets me every time because it reminds me that no matter what I’m going through, what circumstances or obstacles surround me, or what the future holds, I want my children and others to look at me as someone who owned her reactions and honored her responsibilities. I used to often play the victim when something bad would happen or I’d hit a road bump, or things got hard, and I was never happy until I changed my way of thinking.

Tips to keep a balanced life:
A balanced life, hah! No such thing, in my opinion. I go for harmony over balance. But here’s how I stay sane and healthy and enjoy my crazy life.

Self-care - I am not one of the women that you’ll catch saying I haven’t taken a bubble bath in a decade or gone shopping alone in forever. I do what I need to do to make sure I have time to myself and have no guilt over it. I love getting pedicures, eating chocolate without a little one trying to take it away from me, or just reading a magazine in another room with a romantic comedy on in the background. If my tank gets empty, I have nothing to give to others. So I fill it up by recharging.

Multiple Planners - I use Google Calendar and share it with my husband for everything! From physician appointments to our children’s school activities, to my parties and team meetings, each activity has a color and notes so we have a quick visual reference of every day and feel prepared. I also use a paper planner by Erin Condren. It’s expensive but worth every penny! I use that for meal planning, To-Do and grocery lists, reminder notes, and follow-up with my team and customers. It has little organization pockets in the back that I store monthly receipts for expense tracking, and my Connection Cards for following up when I’m waiting for my older two to get out of school.

Outsource what you can - Getting a housecleaner was one of the best things I’ve ever done. She comes and scrubs the house down every two weeks and gives it a deep clean. I haven’t cleaned a bathtub or appliance in a year! Get childcare if you’re a stay at home mom and utilize it for a few hours at least once a week to unwind or get work done. Have newer Consultants shadow you at parties, and help you carry inventory or demo items on guests to make the show go faster. Trade services or products with people you trust if your budget is tight, or start partying more and up your income so you can afford the help. We can’t do it all, and trying to do it all will burn us out.

Treat Yourself with Kindness - There will be days when you go to bed feeling like you yelled too much, or slacked on your customer follow-up, or left a To-Do list a mile long. There will times where you’ll question yourself or other people will criticize your parenting or your devotion to work. Take a deep breath and have a good cry (or a cocktail). Remember that your children look at you like a superhero even on your worst days. You are doing your best job, even though it doesn’t always feel like enough. Life is not about this perfect balance. It is about laughing, quality time, hard work, and enjoying this abundant chaos you’ve been given. Be quick to forgive yourself and others and move forward with your mission, Sister!

A story about motherhood and business:
I had a really important conference call coming up about a panel I was doing at Pure Romance National Training. Both of my older children were home from school and my infant was eating. I plopped the bigger ones down with a sucker and TV show (I could pretend I give them puzzles on these occasions, but let’s all be honest with ourselves here). My baby finished eating and spit up all over me during the first 10 minutes of the call! Without missing a beat I stripped my clothes off with one hand, holding the phone against one shoulder while putting baby over the other for a burp. I walked around during the rest of the call in my underwear, bouncing my littlest one and occasionally doing the stern “Mom-face” to my older two when they would start to bicker or get loud. Important business call in my undies? No big deal! Mamas are creative and quick to adapt. We do what we gotta do, and we get it done!’

Kalen has been happily married for six years and is the mother to Everly, 4 years old, Beckett, 3 years old, and Forrest, 3 months old.

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Make It Memorable!

I recently stopped by a grocery store on the other side of town when I noticed a female police officer staring at me from across the produce aisle. I started worrying, am I in trouble? She wouldn’t take her eyes off of me and when our eyes finally met, she said, “Are you Patty Brisben? Oh, my God, you did a party for me in the early 90s!”

If you’re a hard-working Pure Romance Consultant, one of the best compliments one of your former partygoers can give you is to remember your name – especially years after your party! We all ask ourselves if we are doing a good job as a mom, wife, colleague, and so on, and there’s not always a clear-cut answer. When I was a Consultant, some of the easy benchmarks of success included the amount of bookings, recruits and other “stats” that backed my work. But were people actually remembering my name? Were they coming away with a one-of-a-kind experience that they would truly cherish? That’s such an important part of what we do. Below are a few of my top tips for making your next Pure Romance party memorable.

  1. I never overpromised, and under-delivered. What I told them I would do, I did. No exceptions!
  2. I always made sure my guests put my business card in their wallet, so whether it was the next day, or a year from then when they were changing wallets, my card would always be there. My favorite game was called “Lucky Lady.” I would pass out cards to everyone, and only one of the cards would have the initials L.L. written on it; that cardholder would be the lucky winner of a bedroom toy. Those who didn’t win would put the card in their wallets. In the 80s and 90s, bedroom toys were even more hush-hush than today, so they were not the easiest to start your party with – I always wished that the winner of this game would be someone who really wanted a toy, but would have been too shy to purchase it on her own. I would also offer 20% off any guest’s order if she booked a party with me in the future.
  3. Always keep it FUN! Even if you are expecting 20 guests and seven show up, still make it fun for the seven who are there. Don’t let the number of people, or stresses of your day affect the party. Set all your problems on the doorstep; that night belongs to them. I would always leave my problems at the door, and pick them back up on the way out. As big as the problem seemed, it never seemed as bad after my party. I truly believe that the more fun you’re having the more fun they will have.
  4. Fun doesn’t just apply to your parties. When it comes to any aspect of your business, you should be waking up every day with a smile, or thinking things like, “I can’t wait to do my party tonight” or “I’m so excited to take my new recruit to shadow me.” Believe me, it will show. There’s nothing more contagious than truly enjoying yourself in all that you do.
  5. All Consultants have that guest who grumbles, “I’m not buying anything,” or “I’m just here because my friend invited me.” For me, those were the people who I was determined would be my best friends before I walked out the door. As much as we want to avoid these people, these were the very ones who challenged me to change their point of view regarding what we had to offer. I always had more friends than when I walked in to my party. Even today, I continue to challenge myself in this way with all that we do with Pure Romance. Always work to outdo yourself and you will continually be better than before.

Get Focused!

Consultants, there’s no better time than NOW to take the excitement, knowledge (and new connections!) you’ve gained at last week’s National Training and turn it into more success. I’ve always said work smarter, not harder, and National Training is there to help you get focused on what is going to take your business to the next level. Don’t waste a single second – start applying everything you’ve learned while it’s fresh in your mind, and remember to continue to challenge yourself now and throughout the year!

Blush

It’s an exciting new chapter for Pure Romance, as we launch our new line called Blush. Every year I take stock of our products, and work with our talented team to ensure that we continue to grow and always offer the absolute best. Over the last couple years, I found myself walking into our Product Room and scanning our liquid line (with award winning cohesive packaging) over to some of our bedroom toys and feeling that some just didn’t share that same consistency.

There were some toys that I found myself scratching my head thinking things like, where do the batteries go? If I (someone who works with these products every day) couldn’t easily figure it out, then I couldn’t imagine how confused some of our Consultants and consumers could be.  I wanted to streamline those items, spell out the instructions and take the guesswork out of it. I also never want anyone to feel like they couldn’t recognize if something was from Pure Romance, and creating consistency in the future is a big part of that. That’s when I decided to take our Consultants and customers on a new journey and Blush is the first step on this exciting ride.

I love the word blush. Many think blushing is a sign of weakness, but to me, it’s about evoking a feeling within and telling the world we feel something! The heat rises from our body to our flushed cheeks, and we are overcome with the tingle and excitement. A blush means our hearts are still beating and that we are alive. And most of all, a blush is flirtatious – and what would Pure Romance be without a little flirting?

Another reason I love the Blush line is because it includes all of our staple products. They are the best sellers that many gravitate toward when they are attending a party for their first time.  When people see this line, they will know it’s Blush and they will know it’s Pure Romance.  It will go without saying, and that fires me up like no other!

Do not think this journey stops here! Some people look at change as a negative, but it’s a natural part of life to evolve and grow.  This is about being challenged, growing, staying a student. I truly believe that we will live fuller, more prosperous lives if we embrace change and realize that nothing is ever meant to stay the same; if it does, we (and our products), will never be better. And believe me, we will never let that happen!