Love, Lust, Like

I am endlessly interested in relationships (surprise, surprise), the status of them, and how to keep them going. With every conversation I have about them, love, lust, and like are the main players. I’ve spent time questioning how all three are related and whether you can have one without the other and vice versa.

Whenever I talk about this, I think of one of my favorite George Strait songs, “I Know She Still Loves Me.” Here are the lyrics:

There’s just a hint of indifference
In her lack of conversation when we talk.
And the subject matters change,
There’s no mention of our future now at all.
She still kisses me each morning,
But it seems more like a habit than before.

I know she still loves me,
But I don’t think she likes me anymore.

She used to laugh at all my jokes,
But lately I can’t seem to make her smile.
And the last time we made love it was good,
But God it’s been a while.
She’s always there when I get home,
But she’s no longer waiting at the door.

I know she still loves me,
But I don’t think she likes me anymore.

‘Cause it’s just a little colder every time I hold her.
She’s just going through the motions
From what’s left of her devotion;
And it scares me half to death
Wonderin’ what tomorrow holds in store.

I know she still loves me,
But I don’t think she likes me anymore.

Right now I know she loves me,
But I don’t think she likes me anymore.

What I think about love, lust, and like, is this: One leads to another, but one of these three things must ultimately sustain a relationship. Lust is the chemistry that leads to falling in love. You can be in lust with someone and never fall in love, but when love is reached, lust has played a part to get you there. Lust doesn’t last forever— but it definitely has the ability to come into our relationships in waves.

Love is the bond that holds you and your partner together. Love is so unique to each person that it’s hard to define. Even the Merriam Webster dictionary lists nine definitions for love. What I can say about the love between significant others is that your heart swells for that person. Love is loyal, trustworthy. Love lifts you up and supports you. Love means not putting everything else in life before your significant other. Love is not taking that other person for granted. Most importantly, all these feelings are reciprocal in a healthy, love-filled relationship.

Though love gets all the credit, like is what keeps love alive and sustains it. If you don’t have that like for each other, you have nothing. As George Strait sings, “I know she still loves me, but I don’t think she likes me anymore.” He explains how his wife no longer laughs at his jokes, their conversation is lacking, and that his wife is just going through the motions. The way George sings this combined with the lyrics, I get the impression that he is most hurt by the fact she doesn’t like him anymore. He longs for the days when his wife liked his company so much that everything was happy, enjoyable, and passionate. The second a person in a relationship loses the like for good it impacts the other half.

LUST gets you to LOVE and LOVE may always be there, but LIKE will continue to stoke the fire in your relationship.

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