Female Viagra: The Quick Fix

Ask a room full of honest women if any of them have ever experienced issues with low libido at some point in their life, and I would venture to say that more than half of them would raise their hand! Low libido has been a leading issue among the women I’ve worked with over the past 25 years. Knowing this, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that there has been a major push for a ‘Female Viagra’ pill over the years. The FDA recently rejected this little pink pill after studies showed that women testing the drug only had slightly more sexually satisfying experiences; there were also noted side effects like depression, fainting and dizziness.

I’ve never been one to believe that swallowing a magic pill is the answer to low libido. Are there physical things we can do to help increase libido? Of course! That’s why I worked so diligently to create three different types of arousal creams. However, the danger is to believe that if and when an effective pill is approved, that it will be the cure-all solution to low sex drive. Drug companies are often looking for quick fixes and aren’t paid to challenge us to look deeper as to what causes the symptoms in the first place.

‘Female Viagra’ is an interesting nickname for this drug to begin with because it assumes that it is the female version of Viagra; yet, this isn’t the case. Viagra was created primarily to treat Erectile Dysfunction which in some cases has absolutely nothing to do with the male sex drive or libido directly. Studies have shown that when it comes to arousal, compared to men, women tend to be much more mentally than physically stimulated. That being said, a physical aid is only part of the solution and if treated as a panacea it’s nothing more than slapping a quick-fix band-aid on the issue.

For most women, there needs to be some sort of connection between the mind and body to make sex enjoyable. Women need to start with getting in touch with their body and their needs and desires. Below are some great ways to tap into that sensual energy that sometimes falls latent within us.

• If you’re married or coupled up, take a good honest look at the current state of your relationship. Are there feelings of past hurts, resentments, or despondency? Sexual intimacy is one of the first aspects that often suffers when women are confused or unhappy in a relationship. It’s important to seek out counseling and open the doors of communication with your partner, should this be the case.
• Learn to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. So many women put everyone else first. Take some time to pamper yourself and tap into your sensual nature. If you’re busy, you can start small by just immersing your five senses in a hot, steamy shower or indulging in a sultry bubble bath complete with rose petals and candles.
• Don’t be afraid to explore self-pleasure! How can you tell your partner what turns you on if you aren’t even sure yourself? Give yourself permission to learn what makes you sexually tick. It may not be the same as it was five days, five months or even five years ago! Even more reason to get in touch with your sexual potential and how it can be better than ever today.
• When people are trying to diet, they often keep a food diary to track their good and bad habits. In that same vein, keep a ‘Desire and Arousal’ journal. Document what triggers your desire or arouses you throughout the day. This is a great way to look back and evaluate what could be leading to your feelings of desire (or lack thereof).
• Although it may seem counter-intuitive, sometimes having more sex (even if you’re not at first in the mood) will often make you want it more. Challenge each other to have sex a certain amount of times a week or month; it’s all about finding a number you’re comfortable with, but once you do prioritize it at the top of your list and don’t let any excuses get in the way!
• Fantasies can be a very erotic tool that you can use both during and long-after intimacy. One of the best things you can do is file away an intense sexual experience in your mind and a few weeks later when you’re not quite in the mood or engaging in a ‘last-minute quickie’, you can rely on that sexy memory to get you turned on instantly.
• Men are like microwaves and women are like crock-pots. It sometimes takes us a little longer to get in the mood – especially when we’re battling exhaustion from a laundry list of To-do’s. As I mentioned earlier, arousal creams (see the link above) are topical creams that cause blood to rush to the clitoris and get you in the mood faster. Not to mention, many are edible for his pleasure!
• When couples get comfortable, they assume they know all of each other’s erogenous zones. This is often far from true! One way to create exciting new foreplay is to blindfold your partner and tease him/her from head-to-toe – there are so many cues that you can play off (such as paying attention to their rate of breathing, moans or expressions) as a way to discover what is turning them on. The sensuality of the experience will help build anticipation and help each of you to locate sexy new hot spots you never knew you had.

One Response to "Female Viagra: The Quick Fix"

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  1. Rita Howard

    July 1, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Thats why your the best Patty! You are awesome! Thats why all of us girls love you soooooo much!

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